Cards on the table at midnight,
Watch for the hand with the blade.
We're shooting an old cowboy movie,
Pan out No. 2, camera fade.
Tom, he loves Kitty the cowgirl,
But she only lusts for revenge
To kill off the rat, who crippled her dad.
Tom knows that . . . don't make amends.
Two evils can never make one right,
Be sure one evil has already been done.
Kitty don't see quite too clearly,
Believes we should take one for one.
Director says "Now hold that a minute,
A little more light just over there on her face.
Shadow her eyes, doubt that sanity lies,
Let the public enjoy all of her hate."
It's only a movie, it's only a show . . .
It's only a movie, it's only a show,
Just a celluloid picture wherever you go.
Oh, it's only a movie, it's only a show . . .
It's only a movie, it's only a show,
Just a celluloid picture wherever it shows.
Oh, it's only a movie, it's only a show . . .
Now Tom didn't like all this bullsh**.
Just making nice films is his trend.
To have to whisk her away on his big charger,
Ride into the sun at the end.
Once again, man says "Too easy . . .
The punters, they've all been here before.
I know what they need, the crooks got to bleed
To make 'em go home - wanting more."
It's only a movie, it's only a show . . .
It's only a movie, it's only a show,
Just a celluloid picture wherever you go . . .
It's only a movie, it's only a show,
Just a celluloid picture wherever it shows . . .
--
"Leroy"
And his campus queen,
What she means, what she means . . .
Leroy was a cat, always knew just where he sat
In his rise up to riches and fame.
The chick that he'd choose, would have dollars to lose,
And a love, lotsa love in her heart for his name.
One girl that he'd seen was the campus queen,
She had looks and her daddy had lotsa loot.
So he made her his aim, in his heartless game,
He had looks, he had nerve, boy, was he cute.
He craved a flat top winner, with a two-spot dimmer
And a roof that rolled back for the sun,
Then add a V-8 hood, lotsa chrome on the hub,
Speed that says 160 and some, ah that's fast.
With his charm and his poise, he outclassed all the boys
In the race for her hand he secured.
He met her mum face to face, now she adored all his grace,
His place at their table was assured.
"My boy," said her pa, "What you need is a car, call me Dad,
Gee whizz, you're my son."
Get a two-toned flyer, with white walled tires, and a gas tank,
You make sure it's got plenty of gun."
He got a flat top winner, with a two-spot dimmer
And a roof that rolled back for the sun,
And a V-8 hood, lotsa chrome on the hub,
Speed that says 160 and some.
And he like to move . . . very fast.
--
"Buffet Tea For Two"
Buffet tea for two, a farewell kiss for you,
I climb aboard and shut that door, we're through.
I'm on the train and then I look back once again,
Before I know what's happening, we're moving.
(CHORUS)
To a new start, a new city,
Leaving you my pretty,
It's not so hard as not leaving there at all.
Been knowing you for so long,
The habit just seemed wrong,
I got things to do and it seems like that's the cure.
Think of her awhile, and I offer no denial
I'm excited like it's out of style, oh, it's thrilling
Bedsit by the tube, evening dinner too,
Steady job, good prospects due, if I'm willing.
(REPEAT CHORUS)
We just passed some boats, can't be far to go
Man up train is putting on his coat, we're slowing.
Yes, Pancras, here I come, I raced them all and won,
On the platform and I run, oh, I'm running.
(REPEAT CHORUS)
--
"Boom Bang"
Sick and tired, all hay-wired,
Fever, that's for sure,
Moon, lune girl erection for a cure.
Boom bang, shotgun man,
I said I feel as if I'm dead,
'Cause I got those TV nudes
Running through my head.
Scratch scratch, old Tom cat,
Screaming every night.
He's going round smelling every one-eyed she-cat in sight.
Full grown, big yellow moon,
Excite me awful bad.
But it make all the girls come running
'Cause they like it mad.
(REPEAT CHORUS)
Wang dang, pocket man,
Couldn't even raise a thought,
So while he was passing by, he would flash till he got caught.
Horned toad, rooster crow,
But it all add up to just one thing:
When the men species get hot
Then they sure do sing.
(REPEAT CHORUS)
Boom bang, shotgun man
I said I feel as if I'm dead
'Cause I got those TV nudes
Running through my head.
--
"Boots 'n' Roots"
Sailing on not too far 'til I get there,
All I own wrapped up tight in a sweatshirt.
Ain't no hurry, been away too long
To keep on worrying where I come from,
Rest my boots where I feel I should belong.
Don't hold on to me,
We're one, my song and me,
Boots and roots, there's so much I've got to see,
Boots and roots, there's so much I want to see.
(REPEAT FIRST VERSE)
Sun don't shine, geese start flying for the winter,
I can wait, don't migrate for the weather.
I up and run if it turns me on,
For no more reason than the tide rolls on,
Hold my roots when I feel I should be gone.
So don't hold to me,
We're one, the tide and me,
Boots and roots, there's so much I want to see,
Boots and roots, there's so much I've got to see.
Ride that rail, move my tail where I want to,
Said I take some ease, rest my feet if it feels good.
Pick my tune, an old hoedown,
Boots and roots, don't you hold me down,
So much to see as the world goes spinning round.
I say, don't hold on to me,
We're one, my song and me,
Boots and roots, there's so much I've got to see,
Boots and roots, there's so much I want to see.
--
"Banger"
Instrumental
--
"Sweet Desiree"
Lady,
You and your crazy ways,
You in that negligée.
Sweet Desiree, come softly to me.
Sweet Desiree, come softly to me.
Desire, desire, desire,
Setting my soul on fire.
Your ruby red lips, my my . . .
Sweet Desiree, come softly to me.
Sweet Desiree, come softly to me.
Sweet . . . Desiree,
Sweet . . . Desiree.
You got me going like a man on fire,
That must be why they call you Miss Desire.
Loving,
Hot as a wolverine,
But soft as a lamb in spring.
Sweet Desiree, come softly to me.
Sweet Desiree, come softly to me.
Crying,
Tears running down my thighs,
Caught up in your own desires.
Sweet Desiree, come softly to me.
Sweet Desiree, come softly to me.
Sweet . . . Desiree,
Sweet . . . Desiree.
Sweet Desiree,
Sugar from the honey, yeah . . ..
--
"Suspicion"
Said I don't make much money,
For me it's suffice.
But for one good friend,
I'd give it up twice.
But strange looks come easy when giving I've found.
Age old suspicion is so hard . . .
Age old suspicion is so hard to put down.
Don't make much difference,
I'm right or wrong,
If I feel it's good,
And it's turning me on.
But the same magic feeling keeps coming on round,
Age old suspicion is so hard . . .
Age old suspicion is so hard, to put down.
Ooh, if I was immortal
But held by the b***s,
Now would I cut to freedom,
Thereby giving all?
I'd like to think so, but that's here and now.
Age old suspicion is so hard . . .
Age old suspicion is so hard, to put down.
--
"Check Out"
Since sun-up this hammer ain't been out my grip,
Ain't fussing or nothing, can't afford to slip,
Just biding my time, on this long prison line.
There comes a chance, the screw, he turns away,
I hit him so hard I know he'll never wake.
It's time to check out, well it's too late too stop now.
Then I'm up, and I'm sweating and I'm running scared.
Can't blow it now, I got to use some care,
Get hold of my head, else I'm dead, boy, I'm dead.
I'm over the fields and through the wood beyond.
My only real chance is that I make the swamp,
Start covering my way, afore them hounds start to bay.
It's time to check out, well it's too late to stop now.
You know it's just too much for one little man, yeah . . .
Been on the run for fourteen days or so,
Left all them dogs behind long ago.
Not even a howl is following me now.
But stone prison walls they were the death of me.
My only real chance, you know, I had to be free from that gang
Away to some southern land.
It's time to check out, well it's too late too stop now.
It's time to check out, well it's too late too stop now . . .
(All selections written by Charlie Whitney and Roger Chapman except "Check Out," written by Charlie Whitney, Roger Chapman and Jim Cregan.)
